Being Needed Is Not The Same Thing As Being Called
The Freedom Of Letting God Decide What Belongs On Your List
Being needed feels important.
People call you because you're dependable.
They ask for your help because you're capable.
They trust you because you follow through.
Over time, that becomes part of how you see yourself.
You're the responsible one.
The reliable one.
The one everyone can count on.
Before you continue reading, I encourage you to watch the full video:
๐ฅ Being Needed Isn't Being Called
๐ Watch here
And, you might like this part especially:
Timestamp: 05:12 Stay in Your Own Yard and Know Your Assignment
You may begin to feel like you're the one who holds everything together.
And, gradually, there may be a shift in your thoughts: "I can't quit because things will fall apart if I do."
If you're not careful, something subtle begins to happen.
You can start believing that because someone needs you, your answer should automatically be "Yes."
If I don't do it, who will?
But being needed is not the same thing as being called.
That realization can change your life.
The Trap Highly Capable Women Fall Into
If you're highly capable, there is almost no end to the number of things you could do.
You're a problem-solver, so you could spend all day solving people's problems.
You have a willing attitude to help. That's rare these days.
With your leadership capability, you step in whenever leadership is lacking.
People trust you, rely on you, and opportunities seem to find their way to your door.
The problem is not a lack of things to do.
The problem is deciding which of those things actually belongs to you.
The question is not whether you can.
The question is whether God asked you to.
You already know this. But living it is where it gets hard.
Especially when you're a Christian woman.
Serving others matters.
Because of that, saying no can feel uncomfortable, even when wisdom says you should.
But those good qualities in you can also become dangerous if they replace discernment.
Not every need has your name on it.
Every opportunity won't expire tomorrow if you say No now.
God's not asking you to say yes to every request and each need.
Jesus Did Not Respond To Every Need
It's important to realize Jesus didn't say yes to every need.
Jesus encountered enormous need everywhere He went.
๐ The sick needed healing
๐ Hungry people needed food
๐ Grieving hearts needed comfort
๐ And, crowds always wanted more of His time
Yet Jesus did not say yes to every request.
He did what the Father gave Him to do.
Jesus said:
"For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."
John 6:38
Think about that.
The Son of God was not controlled by people's expectations.
He was controlled by obedience to His Father.
If Jesus lived that way, shouldn't we?
Sometimes we act as though faithfulness means meeting every need around us.
But Jesus never taught that.
Jesus taught obedience.
And, there is a difference.
How A Faithful Woman Ends Up Carrying Too Much
One reason life may feel heavier than it should is that you may be carrying more than God ever asked you to carry.
That's not because you’re rebelling.
It isn't that you've stopped loving the Lord.
You're definitely not trying to do the wrong thing.
It's actually often the opposite.
Helping people has become second nature to you.
You don’t wait to be asked.
You see what needs to be done… and you take responsibility for it.
Could it be that part of your identity has become being the one who carries everything?
Your identity may have become tied to these traits.
Is it possible you have stopped letting God lead you in serving?
After a while, that simply becomes the way you live.
You take charge and get it done.
In your mind, if there's a need, you will help, of course, and maybe organize things, too.
But somewhere along the way, your list became crowded with things God never actually asked you to carry.
This week, I received a group text request to prepare meals for a family going through some health issues.
My first thought was to fulfill that request immediately, and I tried to figure out when and how I could do so.
Then, I stopped and prayed. And, the answer surprised me.
Because right now, I'm recovering from an injury that has limited me physically, and I am hosting a mom and her two children who are staying with us for a week.
When I asked God about this need and what my answer should be to the request, I felt God clearly say, "No, not now."
This is not the time. It seemed God was saying, "Wait."
I happen to know that there are others available to fulfill this request who are in a season of life when they have a lot of help at home, and making a meal is no big deal for them.
I also know that two meals are being delivered to the family this week.
Those may be the reasons why I felt God saying, "No."
But even if I can't see why God leads a certain way, I must listen to Him and obey.
The question isn't if I'm capable, but whether God is asking me to do this.
Is this something He's asking me to carry at this time?
After asking Him, I believe the answer is No. It isn't God's assignment for me at this time.
If you are carrying what God didn't ask you to carry, is that disobedience?
๐ฅ Start with the Complete Spirit, Soul, and Body Playlist
๐ Watch the playlist here
Martha Was Needed
Martha is one of my favorite examples of this.
When Jesus visited her home, there was real work to do.
Meals don't prepare themselves.
Guests don't serve themselves.
Everything Martha was doing mattered.
Yet Jesus gently corrected her.
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things."
Luke 10:41
Notice what He didn't say.
He didn't say she was doing bad things.
He said she was troubled about many things.
Many things.
Has that happened to you?
Have you become troubled by many things because you’ve taken on responsibility for things God never assigned to you?
Meanwhile, Mary sat at Jesus' feet.
Not because she didn't care.
She wasn't being irresponsible.
Mary recognized what mattered most in that moment.
If you've gotten caught up in meeting others' expectations, measuring your value by your usefulness, and comparing yourself, remember that God uniquely created you for His purpose, not anyone else’s, and He wants you to find it.
You can read more about that here: Uniquely Created by God for a Purpose
If you, like Martha, went to Jesus and asked Him to tell others to help, would He respond to you as He did to her?
"You're troubled by many things, Friend."
That could be why your soul feels so tired.
Because you've been carrying too much.
After a while, your list gets crowded.
Your schedule has no margin.
Turning off your thoughts becomes more difficult.
Prayer may have become crowded out.
Responding to all the needs keeps you too busy to stop and ask, "Is this mine to carry?"
You become so busy carrying everyone's expectations that you struggle to hear God's direction.
And then something even more concerning happens.
You begin measuring your value by how useful you are.
If people need you, you feel important.
If they don't, you feel unsettled.
Friend, that is a heavy burden to carry.
God never intended your identity to be built on being needed.
Your identity is built on being His.
The Question That Brings Freedom
A number of years ago, I began asking a question that has helped me a lot.
Before saying yes, I try to ask:
"Lord, is this mine?"
Not:
"Is there a need?"
Not:
"Am I capable of doing this?"
Not:
"Do people expect me to do this?"
And, Not:
"Will this make me look successful?"
Simply:
"Is this mine from You?"
That question has helped me release responsibilities that never belonged to me.
It has helped me stay at peace.
I'm able to focus on what God has given me to do.
Most importantly, it has helped me fulfill God's purpose for me.
It's given others the opportunity to serve and fulfill God's purpose for them.
And, I've come to realize that God is fully capable of running the universe without my assistance.
And...He is fully capable of running it without yours.
Hearing "Well Done"
One day, you will stand before the Lord.
So will I.
I don't believe He will ask whether we solved every problem.
He won’t ask me whether I met everyone’s expectations.
Nor will He care if you made everyone happy.
He will care if we were faithful.
Did we obey Him?
Trust Him?
Complete the assignments He gave to us?
Or did we spend our lives responding to every need on everyone else's list?
That question is worth wrestling with.
Because hearing "Well done" begins long before heaven.
It begins every time you choose obedience over pressure.
Every time you choose God's priorities over people's expectations.
Every time you stop asking,
"Who needs me?"
and start asking,
"Lord, what are You asking me to do?"
That is where peace and purposeful living begin.
That’s where clarity begins.
And that is where a Well Done Woman is made.
Hello!
